Ramblings of a Nerdy Ninja

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Holy Giant pictures Batman!

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Above is a picture of an actual turkey. I'm including this because after looking at these pictures I'm not sure how many people are familiar with the appearance of said animal.
This cake looks a little too real. Gross.

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If and when the zombie apocalypse occurs other than Liam Neeson, Woody Harrelson would be my insane mother fucker of choice to help me fend of flesh eating little girls.




While I am an absolute fan of a good zombie movie, comedies in this genre usually fall short in one or more places. Such as Good ol' zombie gore. This movie does NOT disappoint on the guts and blood.
On a final note I'll leave you with an image straight out of my childhood nightmares. I'm not going to resize this I'm going to leave it in all it's giant clowny goodness.




Good luck sleeping tonight mother fucker.

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That is all.

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Ahh the Boosh Head.

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http://www.myspace.com/robotsindisguise
So, I've been having my own miniature British invasion. From hilarious new shows I've discovered via BBC to music from MySpace hopping.

I'm in love there is nothing I can do to stop it! Robots in Disguise makes me feel like a disco queen (the gay kind ;) ) I strongly suggest if you have a weird taste in music that you check these girls out. Here are a couple of videos to get you started..


Turn It Up




The Sex Has Made Me Stupid
(side note: this contains quite racy robot porn! You're welcome.)


Lastly the newest single..

The Tears





Hope you all enjoy my newest obsession... I'm sure there will be another next week.

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Please enjoy the above video my dahlings, it is the first teaser trailer for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

:D

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That's the picture he attached. At first I thought I wouldn't post it, but well he sent it to me so therefore it's mine to do as I wish. My wish is to post it here for public humiliation.. That's what he wanted after all, right?

So After the first mail I responded to him with:

Dear Dan, (his name is actually Don I just noticed that... LMAO)

This is an EXTRAORDINARILY unusual request. I have to admit this seems more like a fantasy than a way to get over your heart break. Why don't you tell me more about your situation?

Less than 30 minutes later I got this in response.

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The above picture has nothing to do with the following story except it gives me the same feeling.
So I've been doing a little (very little) modeling recently and I have a profile posted on a site called Model Mayhem (www.modelmayhem.com) just for fun. Now I've gotten a few offers most bogus, some genuine, and some genuinely creepy. My favorite so far was an email I just received. I swear to god I am just copy and pasting here. I'm not adding or taking away ANYTHING. Here is the email in it's entirety. Delaney I know you'll like this one.

Hi NN!

I spotted your portfolio today on Model Mayhem and was really impressed. I love your whole nerd look and actually had a possible assignment for you along those lines.

I am a 28-year-old amateur photographer and magazine editor who regularly uses MM to cast photo shoots. I work very hard to keep things professional but it's been hard not to be blown away by the beauty of girls like you! In fact, I've fallen hard for a number of really beautiful young girls --- only to be rejected by all of them. It's been frustrating, but recently I came up with the crazy idea of turning my heartbreak into something silly.

Basically, the idea I had is that I would be the one who gets dressed up like a total nerd/geek and would meet up somewhere with a big group of cute young girls. You and your girlfriends would boss me around, make fun of me, and make me do whatever you want. The more you humiliate me and taunt me with your beauty the better!

Of course, I can pay you for your time! I was thinking like $50/person if you could get a bunch of your girlfriends together. We could do this wherever you want, but I would prefer not in a big public place. It would only be about 15-20 minutes, and I think it could be really fun if you're up for it. In a weird way, it would rhelp me get over my constantly falling for girls that are too young.

Anyway, let me know if you're at all interested. I know this isn't a modelling assignment and I admit it's an unusual request. But I promise you I am a totally normal, polite and discreet guy, completely safe and very professional. It's just that I have this idea I would love to act on one of these days!

I'm attaching a photo of me here so you can see what I look like. I'd love to hear back from you one way or the other. If you're up for it, awesome!! If not, thanks so much for reading this and best of luck with your modelling career.

Hope to hear from you and have a great weekend,

Don

There you have it darlings. I wrote him back just to see if anymore hilarity would ensue.I'll let you know what happens.

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You are now visiting "Ramblings of a Nerdy Ninja". My little brother (who is 9 btw) just informed me he has a blog called "Ramblings of a Ninja". What the hell? For one what the hell does a 9 year old blog about? Not to mention everything else that is wrong with that.

Seesh.

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So Thursday morning I woke up to horrendous stomach pains and as I jumped out of be what did I find? That I was passing out. Not once, but twice. I woke up my husband who was FREAKED out to say the least (after last summers seizure). After the confusion cleared I told him I felt much better except for some pains in my lower stomach and chest I felt like I could get back to sleep. Hesitantly he agreed. About an hour later I woke up to the same thing except this time I couldn't breathe I tried to get out of bed only to have that same familiar feeling over take me, cold sweats, ringing in my ears, white spots in my vision and the feeling of my heart pounding in the back of my neck. So kicking and screaming (more like gasping and whining) the husband drags me to the hospital.
Upon arrival they take me back immediately (much to the disapproval of the man in front of us who was there with his father who *I swear to god* was there for "acne in his armpit"). Over the course of 7 hours they did the following to me:
* EKG- my heart is fine

*Took 3 vials of blood (although the nurse was awesome I didn't know she had poked me until she said "Almost done!")

*Made me pee in a cup. (I didn't realize how hard this was when you can't breathe)

*Gave me a shot of anti inflammatory something.

*Took chest XRAYS (Where I had to lift my arms over my head, which cut my breathing off to about 40%)

*Gave me an I.V. and injected it with florescent dye and took a CT Scan *the sudden onset of chest pains and trouble breathing in a girl my age could have meant blood clot to the lung* (Which I had to lay down during which cut my breathing to about 20%. Also the nurse who helped my get into a "comfortable" position told me that I would feel flushing in my face and neck when the dye was pushed through and I MIGHT feel like I have to pee. Well hate to break it to you buddy I DID pee.

So I waited two more hours (with the IV still in :( ) to find out... ready for the big diagnosis?!?!

I Pulled all the muscles in my chest and stomach. Also I fainted because of the anemia( which we already knew.)

I left with pain pills and muscle relaxers and a husband who won't let me off the couch for the next few days. I never realized how hard it was to sit still.

I can't imagine how much this is going to cost my uninsured ass, but what the hell at least I'm not going to die. Well the husbands coming I better run back to the couch!!!
Lots of Love,
SAM

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As you may (or may not) know my neurotic hero is (and has been for as long as I can remember) has been Tim Burton. I can only imagine the beautifully dark place that exists between his ears. I can't think of anything more wonderful than getting to probe about in there for a bit. Seeing as how that will never happen the closest I can get is watching his movies. He's doing a remake of my favorite movies from childhood Alice in Wonderland. The sinister undertone of this story makes it a perfect tale to be retold through the eyes of the delightfully insane Mr. Burton. They've just released a few promo pictures and I thought I share them with you all.

Please enjoy.

Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen


Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter


Anne Hathaway as The White Queen


Matt Lucas as Tweedledee AND Tweedledum
Mia Wasikowska as Alice

Hooooraaaaaaaaaay!

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It's been a while since I posted anything so I figured to get back into the swing of things we should have a random thoughts post. Yes?...Yes.

*I almost beat up another nerd today.

*I watched the Bonaroo thing on Fuse today. The 'Heed boys did well. Yay NERDS! (not the nerd from the previous post, he get's no yay)

*I'm doing some modeling on Wednesday....wait, WHAT?

*I live with a makeup artist for the next couple of months. Delaney is jealous.

*I miss Delaney. :(

*I always steal Music from Angel's page. :D You find the coolest/ weirdest shit.

* The lipton cup of christ award.

*Pirate shirts.

*Thinking about Wednesday makes me want to throw up in my mouth.

*We're going to the beach on Thursday! YAY!!!!

*I love living in California

*Josh got all of his hair cut off. I may or may not hump his face. :)

I could keep going, but I won't I'm sure it will just get weirder.

-SAM

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Take a moment to take in the SHEER FREAKIN' AWESOMENESS of this picture. Now guess what?!?!?! We're MOVING THERE!! wooohoooo! The ramblings will officially be coming to you from the GORGEOUS state of Arizona sometime after June 5th. I'll let you know when we're settled until then... FUCK YOU NORTH CAROLINA! I'm out!

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Captain's Log, Star Date, May 6th 2009.

Holy hell.

This is a serial killer/rapist waiting to happen. I'm going to troll for more of his videos lets see what sort of debauchery I run in to.



UPDATE: Oooh I hoped and I prayed to baby jesus that it got better. Guess what? IT DOES!

I now post two videos for your viewing pleasure...

"I am devoted to my sweetest Ivy." If this doesn't make you uncomfortable please cease communication with me. Kthanx!




AND....

"Confessions... I cheated on Ivy!" I laughed SO hard...I honestly peed just a little while watching this.

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I believe people only die because they except death as an inevitability. I've convinced myself of this. Will I become immortal?

My belief in this thought means only one of two things. I'm either losing my mind OR (the more preferable of the two) I'm finding it...


Would we be able to fly if no one ever told us we couldn't?

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The Lord of Dreams learns that one must change or die, and makes his decision.


Current comic obsession is The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman. It's beautifully illustrated heavy on the macabre. It's not for everyone it's been described as "The intellectuals comic strip." I know why the hell am I reading it, right?
I actually found out about this through a Tori Amos song "Horses" the lyric is

if there is a way
to find you I will find you
but will you find me if
Neil makes me dream?


After I finish the first volume I'll post a bit more about it. It's hard to get back into reading American comics I'm so used to reading Manga that I keep reading from right to left instead of left to right.. :P

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Where the hell have I been you ask? In space? On some magical journey to a mystic land? On a relaxing vacation to a forgotten land? The answer? Nope, I've been right here at home working my nards off. Spring and sprung as they say and spring is a VERY busy time for our business. Time to get planting, wholesaling and retailing. I will make more of an effort to keep up the blog, but the first few weeks of spring are HECTIC around the house. Nothing snazzy to report on. I miss you ALL!!!

-Sam

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